I spent the first part of this week in Romsey staying with my Dad and step-mother. Dad has Parkinson's and life at home is getting difficult for them both. The house is a bit chaotic and after Dad had a fall last week, my middle sister dropped everything and went to stay and to help. She took her laptop and hoped to be able to do some work while there but there was just no free time. Someone needs to keep an eye out all the time in case Dad fell and so there was no time she wasn't either helping or sleeping! What a star!
The spare bedroom is inaccessible as lots of stuff was being stored there, so we are used to sleeping on a lilo when we go down. F was there until Saturday and I arrived on Friday evenig and stayed in a hotel until next day when F went home. I cancelled my half term plans of going up to stay with younger sister J in Leeds and stayed in Romsey till today. I spent Monday getting the TV aerial on their roof fixed by someone before it fell down on next doors roof!
The real job then began of trying to find some respite in a nursing home for dad for 2 weeks to give H a rest. Dad is not too happy and nor are we, but I think it was essential to give them both a time to rest and take stock. I managed to find a place to my relief, but it all seemed to happen too quickly for any of us. He moved in on Tuesday, not a very nice room which is probably why it is available for short term respite, however the Matron of the home is nice and it seemed like a good place, no bad smells or bored looking residents. Had a good report from the English version of the Care Commission, so that's a good thing and the local reputation seems to be good. They even lent H a zimmer as Dad has him with him and she had been using it too at home. Lots of money a week in case you wondered, self funding but they will be entitled to a refund of £103 NHS nursing costs. Not a pleasant thought if it has to be used long term.
Horrible horrible horrible thought to see our Dad needing care and not being able to do it ourselves.
I spent Monday evening trying to get the spare room at Dad's sorted so one of the beds is now available in case they need a carer to stay over or for one of us next time we go down... I'm getting too old for a lilo, it's an awful long way back up although getting down is ok!
I came up via Leeds to Aberdeen today for a couple of days with C before home again and ready for inservice at work on Monday. The plane did a very bouncy landing at Leeds/Bradford airport having threatened not to stop there at all as the weather was so bad! Skidded on landing from the bounce which was jolly excited, the stewardess then came along with her "Ladies and Gentleman as you have probably realised we have just landed at Leeds Bradford airport!" She and everyone else burst out laughing. poor pilot. Aberdeen was much more gentle but raining!
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- http://blethers.blogspot.com
- 26 Feb. 2009 @ 14:37:53

You can't always look after your parent, and I think there comes a time when it's actually preferable for all concerned to have professionals step in. I found it very hard moving my mother into a nursing home after a stroke, but she settled in really well and it was a relief all round from the worry of what might happen next. It's just that first shock of the situation which is so hard to bear. Prayers for you all.